Respite

had a great day with jenny :) finally got to spend some quality time with my best friend <3 after all these time we now really know how important each other is in our livesss

but i hate not having you with me

i hate not hearing you saying good night before i go to bed, i hate not seeing any message from you when i get home and turn on my laptop, i hate when you don't tell me you miss me, i hate walking on the streets seeing people holding hands, i hate seeing other people kissing, i hate seeing other people in love. i hate that you have classes to go to and i hate that we're so far away from each other.

and i hate being so scared all the time. scared of losing you over stupid things, scared of caring about us so much.

hate picturing how happy we'll be or i'll be if i was with you on my birthday or during this whole vacation.

and i hate not knowing what you're thinking and how you feel.

i only wish things can be easier and i dont miss you as much as i do now.