Respite

i'm so sick of waiting for you so i'm just not gonna do it anymore.

i hate letting people down but i hate being let down even more. You were my priority but apparently i'm not yours so i refuse to waste more time on you. I don't like feeling anxious, getting all these phone calls, IMs and text messages but none of them was from you. I hate being nervous, thinking about you and worrying about you. Maybe being friends will be easier for both of us. 

我不知道你在哪裡你在做甚麼你在想甚麼但我好累我不想管了

i hate how my past relationships are affecting me even til now. Seeing their names on my phone made my heart itch. Sometime I got so disgusted I dont even know how to reply. No matter how much I regret the decisions I made for myself, I guess it just doesn't matter anymore cuz i'm not allow to change anything.

I guess there's a lot of stuff that's just better to be underground and unknown.