Respite

走不完的長巷 原來也就那麼長
跑不完的操場 原來小成這樣
時間的手 翻雲覆雨了什麼
從我手中 奪走了什麼
閉上眼看 十六歲的夕陽 美得像我們一樣
邊走邊唱 天真浪漫勇敢 以為能走到遠方
我們曾相愛 想到就心酸
人潮拍打上岸 一波波歡快的浪
校門口老地方 我是等候堤防
牽妳的手 人群裡慢慢走
我們手中 藏有全宇宙
閉上眼看 最後那顆夕陽 美得像一個遺憾
輝煌哀傷 青春兵荒馬亂 我們潦草地離散
明明愛阿 卻不懂怎麼辦 讓愛強韌不折斷
為何生命 不准等人成長 就可以修正過往
我曾擁有妳 真叫我心酸

I think I lost my faith in love. 
Steve has been someone and something missing in my life. I like to talk about him with my friends, I like to think about him when I’m alone and I like to pretend that he’s still mine when I have no one around. And I know how much it hurts to have someone you love walked away from you and never turned back. Or maybe he did, I guess I would just never find out.
Steve was my boyfriend for two years. We were young and happy together. Or more like I was young. I kept it as a secret because I did not want to be judged. Steve was a sophomore in college when I was in 8th grade. He was my dad’s law student in the university and I was a little girl who went to a catholic middle/high school. I knew how protective my parents are and how our age difference would cause such a drama. However, he was the best thing that could ever happen to me. He drove to my house and walked me to school every morning, he cooked my lunch and dinner, then he picked me up from school at 11 every night. I was deeply dependent and in love and I never thought anything would change.
He took me to Jesse McCartney’s concert for my 15th birthday and he asked Jesse McCartney to sing happy birthday to me. I enjoyed all the jealousy from girls around me at the concert and I couldn’t be any happier. He hid a little diamond ring in my favorite Kinder SURPRISE. I remembered how mad I was when I thought the little chocolate egg was my only birthday present. He was the ideal boyfriend that everyone wanted. He spoiled me and made me the most special girl in the world. His smiles made my heart stop, and his kisses made me melt. It was the first and only time that I was confident enough to tell the world that I love someone with my whole heart. 
Then things changed. I decided to leave home and go away for school. I was so stressed out from the school system and so disappointed in my own performance at the high school entrance exam that I just wanted to leave and never go back. He tried to hard to be happy for me and tell me that everything between us will be okay. And it was, at least in the beginning. He was so strong and mature and so comforting, but I was a little spoiled princess. I couldn’t stand the fact that I have to constantly be by myself, I couldn’t stand to watch my friends hanging out with their boyfriends, and I couldn’t stand sleeping in the infirmary at night without my mom or him. So I freaked out, I remember calling him and asked him if he still loved me. I remember yelling at him and telling him that I wasn’t happy anymore. I remember hearing his tears dropped on the other side of the phone. I remember thinking that I could find someone better and be happy without him.
And I was wrong.
God gives every girl one special man in her life. I lost the chance to be a princess. I lost the man I loved the most. I lost the person that meant everything to me. I lost faith in love because I knew I let my best chance slide away and it would never come back.

經過一番努力終於把從來約不到的金小豬小朋友找來家裡了 :)
 
我們很自食其力的烤餅乾跟蛋糕當下午茶 :)
兩種不一樣的餅乾菜豬勒跟小豬很掙扎很可愛

無條件的愛是什麼
 
一直以來大家所認為無條件的愛是家人給的愛,不管你是貧是賤,住在帝寶還是養老院,高中沒畢業或是博士,在工廠組裝電腦或在信義區有自己的辦公室,嫁7-11店員或英國王子,你的家人都會好愛你
從懷孕開始聽莫札特,較ㄅㄆㄇABC, 開始念書後到處打聽學校老師補習班,勤勞的打點三餐,無怨無悔的每天接送上下課,安靜的聽我們抱怨,凌晨三點看到從美國打回來的電話也一定會接

在師大法文上了一整個禮拜的家教
好不容易終於把French ll的課上完了
但一點考試的把握也沒有耶
一整年的課用10個小時上完有一種很不能負荷的感覺
有好多好多新的單字跟文法要背
兩個未來式搞得我一頭霧水

好久好久沒有來唷 差點連帳號密碼都忘記
這次回台灣好戀家
外面天氣不好一直下雨 在學校一直好想念台灣的太陽公公結果還是沒看到
沒有什麼時差好開心
快一個禮拜幾乎都待在家 陪媽媽 看書
慢慢的過生活也很開心

i'm so happy that everything turn out the way i want
I'm trying to make my life simpler and easier, and i'm really glad it works
i'm putting more effort now and hope everything keep going well as the way they are now
或許很多決定很傷人或很讓自己傷心
但現在當個高中生就要知道怎麼取捨對自己重要的東西

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2010的第一天獻給親愛的爸爸和Valentino
好多好多的波折好多好多的辛苦
都希望可以隨著2009的離開而淡忘
 

回家:)
在經過好多好多事情之後以為回家什麼事情都會變的很簡單
apparently things weren't that easy
有好多事情我以為我還小不用管
但世界就是這樣
什麼事情都糾纏在一起
什麼事情都有一點關係